Hamilton lawyer Rob Davies has been in self-isolation and working remotely in Sweden after losing family members to Covid and contracting the disease himself. He writes about his experience.
On 17 March this year, I learned that my father and step-mother had been admitted to hospital in Stockholm, Sweden with Covid-19. Our family’s worst nightmare had been realised. My parents were both in their 70s with underlying health conditions. They had managed to ward off the virus for 12 months, and contracted it within days of being eligible to receive the first dose of the vaccine.
In just over one week, I was on a plane to Sweden. On the day I left, news from the other side of the world was a mix of positive and negative. My father’s condition seemed to have stabilised, although my step-mother was still battling and needed the support of a ventilator. I knew I needed to get there, but exchanging the comparative safety of New Zealand for the uncertainty of Sweden’s experiment with herd immunity was one of the hardest decisions I had ever made.
Within 24 hours of arriving in Sweden, both my father and step-mother had passed away. Dad was 78 and my step-mother was 72. The virus had compounded their underlying conditions and robbed them of the years they otherwise had left. The smallest of mercies was that I had managed to see both before it happened. That didn’t make it any easier, but it at least made the journey worth it.
There was undoubtedly something poetic about both setting sail for Valhalla on the same day, but it didn’t make the reality any easier. Unwinding their lives and their almost 30-year relationship proved both a welcome distraction and a constant reminder of what was gone. Silver linings were limited, but I had the support of family and friends, and perhaps most significantly, my employer.
This experience has reminded me how lucky I am to work for a firm that puts people first. When I first explained my situation, the first thing my boss told me is that they would find a way to ensure I could leave for the other side of the world without the added worry of what that would mean for my income. His responsiveness in this regard, along with his compassion, made a massive difference.
But it wasn’t just my boss. The entire firm wrapped around and supported me. My colleagues and the other partners all did what they needed to, so that I could do what I needed to. This meant taking over active files, thereby increasing their own workloads, and making sure my family in New Zealand felt loved and supported too. This helped me to focus on what was important, and made tough decisions a fraction easier.
By late April, and three days before my anticipated return, I took a pre-departure Covid test. I had been feeling tired but put that down to the stress of packing up an apartment and mourning the loss of two people incredibly close to me. Instead, I learned I’d contracted Covid myself, forcing a seven-day period of self-isolation, and causing significant concern for me and those closest to me.
The person I caught Covid from became very ill herself. She suffered a fever which lasted almost two weeks, complemented by headaches, muscle pain, and fatigue. She also unwittingly gave Covid to four other people close to her, and they became similarly ill. I spent days waiting for it to become my turn, all the while re-arranging flights and managing the practicalities of extending my stay. Home had never felt so far away.
Against the odds, my symptoms remained mild, although Covid did a number on my kidneys, causing quite a bit of discomfort. It was a glimmer of positivity in what had been one of the hardest experiences of my life. I spent days in isolation with only myself for company, and used work as a welcome distraction when my brain wasn’t fogged up with Covid.
My ability to work remotely was assisted by the technology my employer uses. This enabled me to log in to the same virtual desktop I use while at work. I had access to the same programs and technology that I would if I were in the office. Much of this was road tested during New Zealand’s first lockdown, and I was a beneficiary of many of the subsequent improvements.
What surprised me the most was Sweden’s response to the pandemic. Sweden is a country that I have been fortunate enough to visit many times previously. My step-mother worked for Scandinavian Airlines, which made air travel accessible to me as I was growing up. I placed Sweden on a pedestal: a model of progressive compliance.
However, the country’s response to the pandemic conflicted with that of its neighbours. The approach was one of making only recommendations to people. This uncertain start led to a number of preventable deaths among the most vulnerable, particularly the elderly. Despite that, Sweden persisted with recommendations in lieu of stricter interventions. Around 14,000 Swedes have died since the pandemic began.
I avoided public transport, but on the occasions I was forced to take it, I was disappointed to be among a minority of mask wearers. Although people seemed to respect social distancing, you would still encounter those who looked unwell, coughing and sneezing. Sweden’s traditionally cooperative approach seemed to have been replaced by a fierce individualism which I struggled to reconcile with my earlier impressions of the country.
I am grateful for the time I have spent in Sweden and for what the country has given me in the past. The doctors and nurses who cared for my parents are heroes in my eyes. They were all kind, compassionate, and supremely professional. But my lasting impressions are that their jobs have been made so much more difficult by the decisions of policy makers as well as the selfishness of individuals.
I hope to leave Sweden on 14 May, provided my next Covid test returns an all-important negative result. I cannot wait to return home. Going hard and early was the right call in our circumstances, which I understand are unique among the world’s nations. Nevertheless, I am grateful to our Government and appreciative that, as Kiwis, we worked together. Covid is a scary virus, more virulent than the flu. The only way to beat it is to work as one.
Rob Davies is a Senior Associate at Hamilton law firm Norris Ward McKinnon, in the firm’s Commercial Disputes and Employment team.
